Saturday, December 6, 2008

love to see you cry

"Y me ? "
"Only me ? "
u think its me askin such
stupid silly shit questions ????????
…I am a born brave heart!(maybe)
But then ahem! "y me ?" (( :-P ))
As in I am really falling short of appropriate vocabulary to portray my catch-22 to its fullest....
“leos are never entitled to true love “
disgusting !!!
My fellow Leos are doing gr8 wid their love lives
Y me ???((srrry had 2 ask ;-P))))
Had a break off today (poor me!! ), well not an issue ...happens …but y do I bloody trespass the restricted premises of so called "emotions" wen I am not meant for it ? ???
Well getting serious Is not being me …but then these f***** problems creep into the my life’s hassled arena …

the nastiest emotion that the human soul caters for is the love … when its deprived the result is frustration and disgust!! …..I am currently the victim of the same (if not some thing worse) !
The most remarkable thing that triggers me is that… y on this earth the being on the other end assumes me to be a born duffer ??…hey gimme a break ! I am not so dumb that I cant make out the hysterics of the prevailing situation!!!!

….i may be slated various reasons for the break off thingie …. But then its not really difficult to make out the real reason … which I surmise is .boredom !
A need for change , and most importantly …lack of emotions …!! L

I am still not very sure wat life holds for me in personal front but I am sure I am prepared 4 the worst (god forbids)!!!!

N one thing for sure this is the last serious personal blog from my side !

Dude I am not a serious type of person…!!!! …I enjoy life every moment … even if it means sealing off ur tear in the envelope of prejudiced smile ‘’’’(p.s. English translation of a dialogue from a flop bollywood movie ;) )
but still yar ...i wonder !!!
Y me ?
Not again !! lol

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

indians by calamity

“if death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as new character….would u speed up or slow down ?”

Some questions are just meant to be questions …this is one such…. It fantasizes me often …the mystery of life ….death !

I really can’t comprehend the fact that I am dying …any day … with the scenes of dread getting unleashed in my country so often… how can I substantiate myself being in the cozy warm lap of my motherland???????? …

Guwahati has witnessed many terror attacks has been a terrorist hub for quite some time now …so it really is a passé for us …we are used to receiving the news of bomb blast in neighboring vicinity… I am blogging now god knows what awaits me tonight ?

Death is inevitable …but please who wants to die with the swords of unfulfilled dreams hanging on their necks?

The best part is that the whole country is fighting against terror …its really good to see the dormancy of the futile government extinguishing for some time now ….a sudden nationalist upsurge has conquered Indian mind …that is appreciable ….

But then a few moments of tears , condolences that’s it …life will be back to normalcy again …then why this unnecessary hype for??

My query remains the same why always a misfortune to unite us ? why kargils and Mumbai terror strikes to provoke the Indian in us?
…can’t we put a honoured tag of permanency to our esteemed nationalist interests instead of being occasion oriented?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

la belle dame sans merci !

Am getting serious on this part....4 all those who always lift up the illusion that bhavjot n seriousness are born foes...actually the delicacy of this tragic ballad binds me in the vicinity of a logical reasoning ....(which u can never expect 4m me of coz)
i recall reading the poem like a rote wen i was in my eighth standard ...we jus read it for the sake of doing so ... well i guess at that age you really mind putting ur brains into rationalising the contents of a poem which immortalises the spirit of keats as worlds best poets ever !
la belle.. is a poem which portrays women as a merciless creation of nature ...(to a severe opposition of feminists of coz!!!),,but i think it is the manifestation of the dilemma which the poet went through,,,, i am kinda obsessed by the thoughts of a women as a desroyer of peace n sanctity ,wen @ tymes she eulogizes the same come the two are possible at the same time???...i dunno !!
but d truth prevails my friend!! its oh so ugly head is soon or later manifested in one form or the other...i guess the few occasions wen i was acquainted with such situations i mostly found women the tougher part to beat(i am talkin on the darker side they are tougher part to beat ) ..dunno about the era wen keats portrayed brutality of women but in dis so called 21st centuryi am kinda more inclined to the guys wen it comes to giving ur best to a relation ... i may be a complete amateur in this field..but i whole heartedly support the fact that women's mind is much more fragile than a guy's ...
irony of the situation is that women is the quick summoner of tears as compared to her male counterparts
so keats u won huh!u gets full kuddos from me !
the only regret that i hav from ur poem is that,,,, y d hell did u use singular text wen u must hav gone for plural ..or multiplurals actually!!!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

orkut or ahem ! chirkut???

well u wud know the answer for ur self if ur the destroyed n depressed user of the same...literally it started of as a great venture ...but with the gradual passage of tym it has degraded itself to a filthy level; courtesy some peace seeking despos who come in lookin for a dudette to get laid ...or better still to satisfy beats of frustation thundering in their puking stinking minds has become a surviving hell under the umbrella of social networking tag i dunno if this is happenin to all the dudettes thr ..
.but jus take my case into account ..i made a justified use of the privacy thingie to end the ohhh so yuckie stuff entering my scrapbook ...but now the frustation is coming along in the way of friend requests..... horrible retortion yar using pathetic slangs n swear words ....
i very contendedly took voluntary sanyaas out of the orkut maharaaj ...let the reign of guys wid fucked up minds prevail there ....i really dont giv a damn now!facebook's thr to my solace ...god bless it !
n 4 all the girls facing shit out of the orkut crap sympathies !

Saturday, October 18, 2008

karzzzzzz...wen the zzzzz's neva end

u snore n snore n snore ...thats all the shit karzzzzzzz is all about ...oh my gawd how pathetic can any1 look or sound..... tanannana tandoori nights ...yuck ! our himesh baba is the sole destructor ...illusions spoiled him ,,,the movie is woth a dekko 4 its showcase of versatality that arises out of an empty puny crappy mind ...its too yuckie..recommended 4 all those who doze in multiplexes with wide open mouths ,,,, 4the rest ur shabby bedrooms wud suffice the need u don need to spoil ur sleep wid ..tanannnaanan tandoori nights junk !huh!limits boss!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Yea, I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now. But, hey, what Daddy always tell you? Straighten up, little soldier. Stiffen up that upper lip. What you cryin' 'bout? You got me.
Hailie, I know you miss your mom, And I know you miss your dad, when I'm gone. But I'm tryin' to give you the life that I never had, I can see you're sad. Even when you smile, Even when you laugh. I can see it in your eyes, Deep inside, you wanna cry. 'Cause you're scared, I ain't there. Daddy's with you in your prayers, No more cryin'. Wipe them tears, Daddy's here. No more nightmares,

this one song really strikes the chords of my heart. eminem must hav dedicated it to his life n daughter but he wud be completely unaware of the fact that somewhre in this world a girl can relate to the exact feelings which his daughter went through !
i was goin through a piece by a famous astrologer the previous day n she propounded that leos are always deprived of true love ,,
i dunno if she is perfectly correct but i always value my melancholy as my bestest pal as it neva bothers to leave me alone....
staying tuned to the monotonous rhythms of life i hav still a long journey to take (if i dont die of a hypertension stroke in mid way of coz!!!)n i jus hope this journey is a revelation of me to myself ...
i hope my fake smile doesnt hav to veil the real me which resides in the loneliest terrains >>>
till then mockinbird is always to my rescue .....kuddos eminem !!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

mullah talks ...huh! disgraced humanity !

i need to write dis,if frustation today is a result of something i guess it is money
yeah bring ur swords contradict me ...maybe evn i accept im not very apt wen i say this .but again wat i see is wat i believe
theres this lady who always gets her pretty spitz 4 a walk everyday the air of appreciation of her dearie, i got close to her ...she is not a very aged person but ya at her age i guess its mandatory to have "someone"...that" someone" turnes out to be her spitz...4 god sake !
she was waiting her son, who is currently the in a very well accomplished job ,to get back to her this idd
day before i got the sad news of her demise !
i was really very touched i mean even a single encounter can get people so close but in our case it was an entire evening affair everyday its quite obvious that strings of my heart would strike a melancholous chord...
i went yesterday morning to pay my last homage to her ...i swear it was such a touchy moment ...wen i enquired about her death i came to know that it was a robber who plundered her .. wat would he get from a old lady neways ?
human life is more precious than money or wat ?
wait my boring (as im sure it may seem to you because you were not there to see the spitz sitting alone n wondering whr her master had gone!) talk is not yet at its end
the worst part was that her son never turned up and as her relatives say he wont...i guess that brat is more futile than the robber ...its the robbers profession i guess but it is this guy's frustation ...he would never value the pain her mother bore while conceiving a shit like him ...
i still remember that old lady telling me one fine evening "you will never know the pain of a mother till the day you are one!"
my motherhood has years to come , but aunty i guess i realised the authnticity of your words much earlier!!!,,,,miss you :(
god bless ya soul !

Thursday, August 28, 2008

drasticity is not drastic ...gotta me who knows !

well careless ness has limits ....kick the ass of the ass who remarked this (not me of coz) look at me myself ...well an living epitome of discipline to its level degradation
admissions today ...evry 1 gearing up still in my besd tossing and thinking wen to put my legs on the floor ....sanctify it wid mah feet actually ...newz finally came ova that callousness down had a shower ....dressed up n took my file bearing all necessary requisites
n lo i card is missing ...its the only thing required for final year striking 10... n admission starts @ 10 ...mieee!
late yet again ...but now i guessed i wud have to take admissionsthe next day...since no i card ! wont give up i said.... wont pay the late renumeration.... y will i ....put my whole bedroom upside down in a vain search 4 icard now rush to d...principals office...he must hav got sick of seeing me jumping hither n tither...always for a cause or the other...newz wrote an application 4 d icard n rushed to the audi ,,,hoping to put the application a prof to my rescue thankfully clinched my admissions ...but lo... in cash counter i realise i dint get the money only ...left it in mah bag ...rush to get the bag ..find it thankfully ...admissions done ...go wid a frnd to shop till drop thing ...that was the only decent part ...board a bus...n like always this bus turns out to be the wrong piece of shit....lo u r in diferent part of city altogether up friends to enquire the routes.... take an auto ,....welll goin smooth then there begins the rally ....students rally demanding some bullshit demand which even they know wont see a dawn,,,autowallah throws me away ...walk till i find another bus stop change two buses ...finally.i am getin home wat a relaxation ...but no something had to happen and it did i left my document carrying file in my friends car ...i give her a call enquire her residence go and collect and she drops me mid way ...jus walkin distance 4m mah hostel ....ah my chppel broke so badly catching it in my hands i hav jus ...b4 i forget this incident im bloggin this shitpiece...evn aft realisingthat again tomorrow there wud be a new story a new beginning of a glamorous era....aha ...i forgot i hav my room to settle or my warden would create a scene ...tchao !!!!!!!!

Friday, June 20, 2008

a suffering in disguise

Well in a state of fever i didnt have better option rather than to browse my mind over the tyranny of times n gaze in the arms of wilderness ...i heard cries these were not the generations of the fluctuating vibrations of my soul ..they were real n they were genuine ...i was "intrigued "...well i know this is not apt on my part to use this word to describe the horror that i witnessed...but still this is the exact feeling i had when my eyes were feasted upon a terrible sight ....

The noise of moaning n crying was coming from my neighbours domain..i cried heavens while peering from my bedrooms i captured a pretty woman in early thirties holding a rod of considerable thickness and whole heartedly taking out her ageold frustration on a kid of five years old ...ruthlessly as much as u can let your imagination wander upto....

the worst part was that the louder the child cried.... the harder were the unscruplous blows,,,,

i was aghast!well it took me some time to settle but i finally did ..well when at todays time such things happen the best u can do is keep off touble by tredding the safer part of meek silence ..a powerful weapon at times ...but a disgrace several times other...

the girl it seems from what i can surmise from her tribal looks ...must be hailing from a weaker section in asam n her parents(if they exsisted) must hav obliged to render her services to the lady...that too in a minimal cost happens... its very common practice that has gripped assamese indoors

next day again same cries n wails ... i followed this time ...n discoverd from the snippets of my eavesdropping that the girl ...api as the lady calls her (synonymous wid hey girl)...eventualy volunteered to let a hanky fall off the balcony while collecting the clothes that she had putout for drying a reward or her general silly or rather simple careless act she was kicked hard on her face many times....

well if u think the whole story ends here ...please hold ur speculation ...there was a whole tribunal of violent acts that continued for entire week ... n i just saw....silence wise men say is the greatest asset a human soul should empower itself with ...i wish they were here to assign the dignatory remark of cowardliness to silence!~

things got worse by the end of the next week was more than enough i told myself i need to go and settle things for myself /....i along wid my warden (who had to be literally begged by me to go ) went to my neighbours lady bungalow...well as fake as the woman's beauty ... the house was majestic ...

i gave polite yet strong warnings to the lady that i hailed from child care trust(i dunno if that exsists !) n that i had complaints from her neighbours ...(on this i pointed my warden who gave a displeased nod) that she ill treated the child and i asked her to mend her ways if she wanted to further avoid trouble....

she was stiff enough even for a subtle reply ...i never expected out of her any...actually

but i was damn relaxed a victory ...very delighted that i had done some great philantropic deed ...i was soo happy ...finally i wud hear no more cries n can rest my tired soul in peace ,,,,

the best was yet to come ..... i went to terrace that night n saw the woman holding the girl by one of her hands and pulling her hairs by the other ....... i hid behind the water tank ..... but there were no cries this time ...
the girls mouth was strongly tied with a piece of cloth n she was being bashed up on account of letting her neighbour know the factfile!!!!!!!!!!!!!